So, I'll be honest, I am pretty excited about this. This past Sunday Matt Chandler talked about community in our "Marked" series, where we are going through the mission statement of The Village Church. He talked about "knowing vs being known" along with some other ideas of community and what that looks like. He mentioned the "One Another's" of the New Testament and how they gave us examples of how we should act within community. I immediately looked them up online and found multiple lists already made for me (check). My idea is to discuss one of these each week in hopes that we all as a community and serve each other better, but also give us some concrete examples of what it looks like to truly live in a Christian community together. I hope these will all be helpful and maybe even insightful.
John 13:1-17
While there is certainly a lot to take from these 17 verses, but what I would like to focus on most of all with this is the application. Two questions that come to mind are, "What does this look like spiritually?" and "What does this look like physically?" I think that the example Jesus has set before us should really make us think about how we interact with one another.
What does this look like spiritually?
"What are you reading about in your Bible right now?" Why isn't this a questions we ask each other regularly? Why don't we already know? We all talk about how we need to spend more time in the word, or quiet time or whatever, so lets hold each other accountable. Get with 5 or 6 of your friends and hold each other accountable by posting pictures of your study on social media, snapchat one another, post about what you are reading individually in your devotionals each day. Why are we afraid to do this as a community? Are we ashamed? When did we as Christians become 'too cool' to admit what we believe and share it with those around us? I don't have near enough friends that I run with on the Nike Running App and I certainly don't have enough friends to share what is really impacting my life spiritually, even on the Bible App. Now that might seem pretty simple, but ask someone you know tomorrow morning at Church, "What are you reading about right now in the Bible?" and see the response you get. I know I would take a hard swallow if someone asked me that. So spiritually, what does washing one another's feet look like? It might not be holding someone accountable exactly, but we all walk through so much garbage day in and day out, it would be nice to have those around you constantly draw you back to the places and things in our lives that cleanse us. How long has someone in your community been walking through something dirty (literally and figuratively) and how afraid are we to lower our selves to a position where we not only see it, but actually help do something about it.
What does this look like physically?
I think that this question might be the hardest of the two to answer. While I don't think that Jesus was being completely literal when he said "now that I have washed your feet...you also should wash one another's feet" it does force me to ask what the equivalent of this might be in our day and age. Jesus obviously lowered himself to a status that was significantly below him, not only as their teacher but also as the Son of God. So what could we do that would even come close? Not a single one of us is greater than Jesus and yet we are unwilling to sacrifice so much for those around us. Jesus even washed the feet of a man He knew would betray Him...that really should make us/me think. None of us are bigger than picking up trash, doing laundry, cleaning gutters or whatever other dirty job we can think of. I think it is safe to say that this goes beyond courtesy. We aren't talking about holding the door open for someone. We are talking about lowering our station, using Jesus as an example of 'Servant Leadership' and serving those around us and doing something noticeable. An act that puts us in front of those we are serving. Not for credit mind you, but there is a difference in washing someone's feet and hiring someone else to do it. There is an intimacy here that I think Jesus is asking for. I am sure this act increased in significance even more a few days later after Jesus died. So what does this look like exactly? I don't know for sure. But I do know that if we are going to be 'blessed' as Jesus mentions in verse 17, we are talking about doing more than speaking to someone's Lave Language. If real Love is sacrificing yourself for someone else, how are we showing those in our Christian community that we love them? I know I don't do this enough, but I will certainly start trying.
Sunday, September 17, 2017
Monday, September 11, 2017
What is a friend?
It's gotten to the point now, that I think words have lost a lot of their meaning, at least they have been watered down. Maybe this is something that happens throughout culture or maybe in this present day of technology, information and the urban dictionary, words just don't carry the same weight anymore. Personally, I feel there are several words that fit into this category, but the one that has struck me more recently has been the term "friend". Where we used to differentiate between buddy, pal, colleague and acquaintance, we really don't anymore. Everyone has been sort of lumped into the same category as a "friend". In my opinion, this really has dumbed down the word and made it carry less weight and less meaning.
My first example is me sitting in someones office and he says to me "Jason, I think of you as a friend," and I immediately think "not only do we obviously have different definitions of what a 'friend' is and how you should treat those, but I certainly don't want to know how you interact with those you haven't labeled that way." If we are treating our 'friends' so poorly, then can we really call them that? Second, I had a former player that would easily post a picture every week on social media of herself and her "best friend", wishing them a Happy Birthday. Now, there is nothing wrong with that, it actually shows how nice this person was and how she cared about those around her by remembering them, not at all a bad thing. But how many "best friends" can we have before those two words start to carry little or no meaning behind them in regards to our relationship with the other person?
So now let us get to social media and Facebook. While it seems kind of silly, I wanted to go through the different levels of "friends" on Facebook and my idea here is to show that with these varying levels and degrees of definition for what a "friend" is in one social media medium, I think it is safe to argue that this word in particular has lost a lot of it's meaning outside of the Facebook medium as well. My disclaimer for this is that these are all the different "friends" that I have (or have had in the past) on Facebook, so yes, I am 100% guilty of buying-in to this kind of thinking.
Friends you have hidden, or don't follow - I'm not sure as to the exact wording here. I know that you can hide certain people from your newsfeed or perhaps see them less. I also am pretty sure that you can go directly to someone's page and unfollow them without losing them as a "friend". What this really says though is that we don't want to sacrifice our "friend count" but we don't really care about this person in anyway. Whether it's a relationship gone bad or we just don't like the stuff they post, we are not interested.
Friends you follow, but don't comment or "like" - We all have these friends on Facebook right? We want to know what's going on, but from a distance. We don't want them to know that we know what is going on in their life and we certainly wouldn't want anyone else to know that we are interested or care about this person; the term "Facebook Official" comes to mind right away hahaha.
Friends you follow, but only "like" - We never actually engage with people on Facebook in these situations. We just like their photo, or status because we agree in some way, but never engaging or communicating with that person, except in a 'thumbs up'. This is hard because for me it creates this urge to 'like' things so that other people will do the same for me. In this we just go round-and-round where there is no legitimate communication or conversation, no actual relationship, just "likes".
Friends you actually interact with on a regular basis - Facebook certainly has it's benefits. With it, I am able to talk to friends from college and see what is going on in their lives with a lot of ease. In a world where we text more than call, I can stay in touch with friends overseas, or learn about vacations in real time, which is pretty fun I think. But let's be honest, I could easily drop my "friends" list on Facebook to fewer than 50 if this were the way we measured our friendships. These are the people I text, call or get in touch with in other ways outside of the social media realm. They are people I genuinely care about and I know that they genuinely care about me. In a world where we know a lot of stuff, but we are actually known by very few people, these kind of relationships are extremely important and I would take 10 of these over 10,000 friends on Facebook any day.
Friends you have unfriended - I have had people tell me that this is "mean" before and my response is always the same. You can call it mean and I will call it honest. If we can be honest and say that there is no way that I would classify someone as a "friend", someone I don't want to interact with at all, I think that would actually add value to the word "friend". We don't have to be friends with everyone, and why would we want to?
I want to be surrounded by people that know me, care about me, will support me, truly encourage me...it's amazing how joyous your life can be when you find yourself in that position. To be rid of all the people that pretend to care about you and actually be surrounded by those that do changes the way you think, feel and act. It's certainly something I have found these last few months and something that I look forward to more in the future.
My first example is me sitting in someones office and he says to me "Jason, I think of you as a friend," and I immediately think "not only do we obviously have different definitions of what a 'friend' is and how you should treat those, but I certainly don't want to know how you interact with those you haven't labeled that way." If we are treating our 'friends' so poorly, then can we really call them that? Second, I had a former player that would easily post a picture every week on social media of herself and her "best friend", wishing them a Happy Birthday. Now, there is nothing wrong with that, it actually shows how nice this person was and how she cared about those around her by remembering them, not at all a bad thing. But how many "best friends" can we have before those two words start to carry little or no meaning behind them in regards to our relationship with the other person?
So now let us get to social media and Facebook. While it seems kind of silly, I wanted to go through the different levels of "friends" on Facebook and my idea here is to show that with these varying levels and degrees of definition for what a "friend" is in one social media medium, I think it is safe to argue that this word in particular has lost a lot of it's meaning outside of the Facebook medium as well. My disclaimer for this is that these are all the different "friends" that I have (or have had in the past) on Facebook, so yes, I am 100% guilty of buying-in to this kind of thinking.
Friends you have hidden, or don't follow - I'm not sure as to the exact wording here. I know that you can hide certain people from your newsfeed or perhaps see them less. I also am pretty sure that you can go directly to someone's page and unfollow them without losing them as a "friend". What this really says though is that we don't want to sacrifice our "friend count" but we don't really care about this person in anyway. Whether it's a relationship gone bad or we just don't like the stuff they post, we are not interested.
Friends you follow, but don't comment or "like" - We all have these friends on Facebook right? We want to know what's going on, but from a distance. We don't want them to know that we know what is going on in their life and we certainly wouldn't want anyone else to know that we are interested or care about this person; the term "Facebook Official" comes to mind right away hahaha.
Friends you follow, but only "like" - We never actually engage with people on Facebook in these situations. We just like their photo, or status because we agree in some way, but never engaging or communicating with that person, except in a 'thumbs up'. This is hard because for me it creates this urge to 'like' things so that other people will do the same for me. In this we just go round-and-round where there is no legitimate communication or conversation, no actual relationship, just "likes".
Friends you actually interact with on a regular basis - Facebook certainly has it's benefits. With it, I am able to talk to friends from college and see what is going on in their lives with a lot of ease. In a world where we text more than call, I can stay in touch with friends overseas, or learn about vacations in real time, which is pretty fun I think. But let's be honest, I could easily drop my "friends" list on Facebook to fewer than 50 if this were the way we measured our friendships. These are the people I text, call or get in touch with in other ways outside of the social media realm. They are people I genuinely care about and I know that they genuinely care about me. In a world where we know a lot of stuff, but we are actually known by very few people, these kind of relationships are extremely important and I would take 10 of these over 10,000 friends on Facebook any day.
Friends you have unfriended - I have had people tell me that this is "mean" before and my response is always the same. You can call it mean and I will call it honest. If we can be honest and say that there is no way that I would classify someone as a "friend", someone I don't want to interact with at all, I think that would actually add value to the word "friend". We don't have to be friends with everyone, and why would we want to?
I want to be surrounded by people that know me, care about me, will support me, truly encourage me...it's amazing how joyous your life can be when you find yourself in that position. To be rid of all the people that pretend to care about you and actually be surrounded by those that do changes the way you think, feel and act. It's certainly something I have found these last few months and something that I look forward to more in the future.
Friday, July 21, 2017
A false sense of positivity
"If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all" is a mantra that we have all heard and probably heard it from an early age. There is for sure something to be said about positivity. Certainly you want to have good manners, be nice and polite when you talk to people, after all we are civilized people. The ideas of "Look on the bright-side" or "every cloud has a silver lining" are great notions but are they realistic? Another music star apparently committed suicide today and while I didn't plan on mentioning this, I think it might be somewhat relative, that we can go on saying, thinking, believing that everything is fine, but at some point our garbage, our families garbage, or the world's garbage catches up with us and we finally realize that not everything is fine and we can't lie to ourselves anymore.
I'm a fan of encouragement and I have had players in the past that were really hard on themselves, had a lot of negative self-talk and body-language and it was great to work through that with them and see how much of a better teammate they could be, so I am an advocate of positivity, don't get me wrong. So what do we do when our positivity is masks something else? What do we do when a false sense of positivity is wrapped in deceit? How do we handle lies that have been woven into a false sense of positivity? When do the positive words we hear just become hypocrisy? ...is it really better then to be positive and can we really call it that in those situations? If this is what "positivity" can become, then I will take Truth everyday.
One of my issues has been that when I read a Jon Gordon book or listen to him speak, or see a Ziglar quote that one of my friends posts, sometimes it can just seem so empty. I think the reason for that is they have the process a little backwards for me. I think we get the "positive is the best way to go" idea first, and it is definitely a good way to go, but when I read some of this stuff...God (often described as Faith) comes in last; worst of all He is just kind of sprinkled in as a kind of light and sparkly topping on the cake, and I just don't think that's right. Shouldn't He come first? When we have issues, when we have problems, shouldn't we be working on the vertical relationship first? I mean if we really believe that "I can do all things THROUGH him who GIVES me strength" I feel like that part should come first. I want God to be at the forefront of what I do, not positive thinking.
John Eldredge talks a lot about how one of the lies that we can believe as men is thinking that being a Christian man is basically about being a "nice guy". He debunks this, obviously, and I won't get into very much of that here, but I have wondered recently if this isn't the new lie that we can believe. That we need to always be positive, with a big smile on our faces and make everything seem likes it's ok and really going great. So we cowardly walk around, ensuring people that everything is just fine and that there isn't this war going on in our minds and in our hearts and when people start to really struggle we ignore it and say "It will be ok, you need to think positive" while the whole time we don't pay attention to the real pain, anger and struggles that are really happening in our lives...where does that leave us?
I'm all about being positive, I think it is something that is necessary in our lives on a regular basis, just like we all need a good hug. But when that "positivity" starts to cover up lies, deceit and hypocrisy, I don't want anything to do with it. Let us deal with our garbage first...deal with it together...no more fake smiles and acting like everything is fine because that's how we are supposed to act...lets not ignore that life happens, bad things happen, that we struggle...lets give that stuff to God FIRST.
I'm a fan of encouragement and I have had players in the past that were really hard on themselves, had a lot of negative self-talk and body-language and it was great to work through that with them and see how much of a better teammate they could be, so I am an advocate of positivity, don't get me wrong. So what do we do when our positivity is masks something else? What do we do when a false sense of positivity is wrapped in deceit? How do we handle lies that have been woven into a false sense of positivity? When do the positive words we hear just become hypocrisy? ...is it really better then to be positive and can we really call it that in those situations? If this is what "positivity" can become, then I will take Truth everyday.
One of my issues has been that when I read a Jon Gordon book or listen to him speak, or see a Ziglar quote that one of my friends posts, sometimes it can just seem so empty. I think the reason for that is they have the process a little backwards for me. I think we get the "positive is the best way to go" idea first, and it is definitely a good way to go, but when I read some of this stuff...God (often described as Faith) comes in last; worst of all He is just kind of sprinkled in as a kind of light and sparkly topping on the cake, and I just don't think that's right. Shouldn't He come first? When we have issues, when we have problems, shouldn't we be working on the vertical relationship first? I mean if we really believe that "I can do all things THROUGH him who GIVES me strength" I feel like that part should come first. I want God to be at the forefront of what I do, not positive thinking.
John Eldredge talks a lot about how one of the lies that we can believe as men is thinking that being a Christian man is basically about being a "nice guy". He debunks this, obviously, and I won't get into very much of that here, but I have wondered recently if this isn't the new lie that we can believe. That we need to always be positive, with a big smile on our faces and make everything seem likes it's ok and really going great. So we cowardly walk around, ensuring people that everything is just fine and that there isn't this war going on in our minds and in our hearts and when people start to really struggle we ignore it and say "It will be ok, you need to think positive" while the whole time we don't pay attention to the real pain, anger and struggles that are really happening in our lives...where does that leave us?
I'm all about being positive, I think it is something that is necessary in our lives on a regular basis, just like we all need a good hug. But when that "positivity" starts to cover up lies, deceit and hypocrisy, I don't want anything to do with it. Let us deal with our garbage first...deal with it together...no more fake smiles and acting like everything is fine because that's how we are supposed to act...lets not ignore that life happens, bad things happen, that we struggle...lets give that stuff to God FIRST.
Monday, May 29, 2017
Goodbye Abilene...
Well for the 2nd time in 7 years we are leaving Abilene. While this move has a lot of differences from the previous one (we now have 3 kids) the biggest difference is that we are not moving by choice, we are being "forced" out this time. I think that has been one of the hardest parts for me, that I'm not leaving by choice. Add that on top of the fact that it has been really hard to leave with the feeling that I didn't accomplish what I had originally come here to do. Acts 20:24 has always been a big verse for me...Grace...maybe I didn't talk about Grace enough. Grace is a big concept to understand and while it has elements of forgiveness, it's not quite the same. If we miss out on the concept of Grace, we miss out on so much!
I spent 6 years pouring into a place, into an idea and into people that didn't reciprocate or at least didn't seem to in retrospect. You know it's funny, when I was in Junior High I used to think that you could only really love something/someone if they returned that same love back to you; otherwise it wasn't really love at all, it was just some cheap fabrication of what we thought love was. I don't believe that now of course and I definitely believe that the opposite is more True now than ever before. You can definitely Love something, sacrifice for something, commit to something without getting anything back. That really is what Love is right?
After we came to Abilene the first time, I would always joke and say that "I came as a footnote and I will leave as a footnote." Now while that is both figuratively and quite literally true on both accounts, that part never mattered to me. It didn't matter because my plan and my vision had very little, if anything, to do with me. I never needed a newsletter with my picture on it; my bio isn't 8 pages long full of random accolades; I don't need fancy shoes, suits, watches, a big office or a record deal...and I never really wanted credit, just feel appreciated...
*raises hand slowly* I really just want to work my tail off and be a part of something special, something bigger than me...the rest of it, is just kind of fluff to me. The grind is where I live, and kind of where I like to be. That's why I love coaching so much...
So while very few people cared that I came or that I left, we still came back. Why? Because I was supposed to. For what reason exactly, I'm still not sure. Every step of this journey from leaving Colorado until now I've been sitting in the back seat, being lead. And this is hard because while I don't feel "lead" to leave here, my Faith in what God has in store for myself and my family, my Faith in how He will provide for us and my Faith in that I am still being pursued with Grace and Love is why I know that leaving is the best thing.
I spent 6 years pouring into a place, into an idea and into people that didn't reciprocate or at least didn't seem to in retrospect. You know it's funny, when I was in Junior High I used to think that you could only really love something/someone if they returned that same love back to you; otherwise it wasn't really love at all, it was just some cheap fabrication of what we thought love was. I don't believe that now of course and I definitely believe that the opposite is more True now than ever before. You can definitely Love something, sacrifice for something, commit to something without getting anything back. That really is what Love is right?
After we came to Abilene the first time, I would always joke and say that "I came as a footnote and I will leave as a footnote." Now while that is both figuratively and quite literally true on both accounts, that part never mattered to me. It didn't matter because my plan and my vision had very little, if anything, to do with me. I never needed a newsletter with my picture on it; my bio isn't 8 pages long full of random accolades; I don't need fancy shoes, suits, watches, a big office or a record deal...and I never really wanted credit, just feel appreciated...
*raises hand slowly* I really just want to work my tail off and be a part of something special, something bigger than me...the rest of it, is just kind of fluff to me. The grind is where I live, and kind of where I like to be. That's why I love coaching so much...
So while very few people cared that I came or that I left, we still came back. Why? Because I was supposed to. For what reason exactly, I'm still not sure. Every step of this journey from leaving Colorado until now I've been sitting in the back seat, being lead. And this is hard because while I don't feel "lead" to leave here, my Faith in what God has in store for myself and my family, my Faith in how He will provide for us and my Faith in that I am still being pursued with Grace and Love is why I know that leaving is the best thing.
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