The games have started

Keagan has been enthralled with our TV for some time now.  It's not that he likes to sit and stare at it aimlessly.  For the most part, IF the TV is on, he ignores it.  There have been two things he has liked doing.  First, he likes to push the power button on the cable box.  I'm pretty sure it's the first button he learned to push and it has a neat light around the button that changes color whenever he pushes it.  Second, ever since he has learned to pull himself up, he has pulled himself up on the TV stand.  That's not a huge deal, but now he shakes our weak stand and wobbles the TV; dangerous for everyone.  So, when we are playing in the living room I try my best to keep him away from the TV stand all together.   This, however, is not so easy.  


My strategy has been one of deterrence and distraction...if I can keep him occupied on other things and inhibit him from going to the cable box and pulling himself up on the TV stand, then I win.  


So now we play this game where Dad builds a wall of toys and obstacles around the TV stand and Keagan tries to go through or around the wall using brute force, or dismantle it into smaller more manageable pieces over a long period of time (breaking down the wall, as it where).  Usually the small toy box, ferris wheel, farm and drum do the trick, but as he has gotten bigger and smarter I've had to add to my arsenal.  I now use his dinosaur toy, bean bag and a blue basket from Sara's classroom.  Of course this is not enough and Keagan breaks through to where he can stand, turn, smile at Mom, shake the TV stand and make the TV wobble.


Sara was able to take some pictures today of Keagan conquering the wall...

Dismantle...

Success! 

Just one of the many games he and I will play. 

Life in the Honesty Lane

This is from the chapter entitled "Disruptive Honesty"...enjoy!

"Most people go through their entire lives without anyone, ever, speaking honest, loving, direct words to the most damaging issues in their lives.  Pause for a moment, and count the times this has been done for you.  Better, pause and count the times you have offered this to someone you love.  We chitchat.  We spend our days at a level of conversation as substantive as smoke.  We dance around one another like birds in a mating ritual, bobbing, ducking, puffing out our chests, flapping our wings, circling one another, now advancing, now retreating.  If we filmed a week of it in time-lapse photography, it would make the Discovery channel.  Let's be honest - why aren't we more honest with each other?  Because it will cost us...We're cowards, that's why."  Beautiful Outlaw, by John Eldredge

This got me thinking...if it is hard to be honest with someone you know and care about, then it is probably even harder to be on the receiving end of that honesty.  I mean, no one really likes to be told they are doing something wrong; we know this and so we don't usually say anything...it's one of those vicious cycles.  The author is basically saying, if Jesus is our example, then we should do what he did...this is what he did.  How hard is it for us to be REALLY engaged in the lives of others?  How much do we really care?  That's something that we need to remember...Jesus said the things he said and did the things he did because he CARED...for all of us.    

We love it when we read passages about Jesus "sticking it to the man" and telling the Pharisee's how they don't have it right.  We cheer, we clap and we pump our fists for Jesus and "boo" the evil, the hypocrisy of those who don't "get it", we "boo" the phony, religious types.   But what about...............us?  How would we feel if we were the Pharisee Jesus was talking to?

AHHHHHH!  Crazy right?  We would be irate, defensive, dodging, accusatory back at Jesus, you name it...wouldn't we?  Because that's how we are normally, to everyone else when they say something that rubs us the wrong way; that's usually because in some ways it is true.  We always look on the outside of other people and ourselves, instead of inward.  Deep inside ourselves, and deep inside of others...

The fact of the matter is that we hate it when people are honest with us, we hate the real us.  Not that deep within us we know what's going on, because we do, but we hate it about ourselves...it's not so much that the words themselves, "it is something in us that is offended"

It's honestly why Reality Shows are so popular these days.  There affect on us is very similar to that of Daytime Soaps, in that we can watch these rich, beautiful people, with all of their issues and be able to say "wow, my life isn't so bad after all.  If THEY are having these problems, then..."  Reality Shows give us the ability to see how much better we think we are than other people, because their faults are out there for the world to see.  In the mean time, we get to sit back, watch and say "Oh my gosh, like, she is so awful...I would, like, totally never do that!" (if you were able to do the valley girl voice in your head while reading that just now...kudos from me).  But as easy as it is to see how something is wrong when Mandy Moore throws the Bible at her friend and says, "I'm full of Christ's Love!" we are usually ignoring what is actually going on within ourselves.

"Honesty is the best policy" I guess, unless it becomes difficult.

What I meant to say...

Words are funny...sometimes.  They can also be mean, rude, spiteful...kind, loving and endearing.  They can be all of those things and none of those things, at the same time.  Words are hardly ever words; I mean, they are rarely taken at face value.  Obviously words have meaning, they always will, but that hardly is ever where we stop.  There are so many underlying things that go into a conversation, email, text or even a book we read.  The tone, context, timing and other non-verbals change the way a message is delivered; and that's just on one end.  On the receiving end of the message there are often other issues: there is my perception of the message being delivered, my mood, my feelings about the person, my emotional state, how hungry I am at the time.  I'm sure there are a lot more...

still following?...

Don't get me wrong, I think all of that extra "stuff" helps deliver the message, sometimes.  In other instances the words are just the "words".   See, if we try to add to much of the "stuff" to the message, often times, the message gets lost.  We immediately forget about the "words" and start thinking about the "stuff"...we forget about the meaning, and we focus on all the underlying "stuff".  See, we forget about the actual context, the real heart of the message, the actual message.  But, why?  Well, if you're asking me (which I am) it's because we don't ask questions to clear up the "stuff".  Instead we guess or assume...we go around thinking we know what is going on, what someone "really meant", instead of asking questions, instead of really finding out.  

What have you said lately,  or what has been said to you lately, that has been misunderstood?

That was thought #1, now on to thought #2...

A few nights ago, I couldn't sleep.  Something was on my mind.  I'm not sure if there was any reason for it to be on my mind besides that God wanted me to do something.  So, I sent an email and fell asleep.  I got a response the next day.  The response was simple, but the words impacted me...it was like asking a question and then getting the answer you wanted, but didn't expect at the same time.  As if I didn't really need to send the email, but it was so much better that I did.  It hit deep.  I think God can give us real confirmation that what we are doing is right, real or good...this one was in an email.  

I don't say things by accident, I mean what I say.  I'm not planning on changing.

Words are funny...they can mean a lot of things.  When did you last say something that impacted another person?  When was the last time you were impacted?

Confused?  It happens.

Remembering...

I called her "Feet"...I don't think anyone else ever did.  Her footwork was always perfect, she was a machine.  It had been trained into her to approach and transition a certain way, and she always did it correctly, always.  "Nice feet..." soon became "Feet".  It wasn't the best nick-name, but for me it stuck...

I am amazed at all the memories I have had in the last 24 hours...

There are certain things in life I don't think you could ever be prepared for...this was certainly one of them...hearing that a former player's life had ended too soon and under such circumstances, really makes you think about, well, everything.  I guess losing a player was something I always feared; I certainly never thought it would happen this early.  

For the most part my team was already picked...I was excited.  "Feet" was really the last person between my team and the Top team that needed a spot.  I was told that if I wanted her, she would be on my team.  I watched her play in one high school game and that was it, I was sold.  Not only was she an incredible athlete, but she was good, and she was a lot of fun to watch.  

I remember telling her before Nationals how proud of her I was.  I had asked her to focus on her ball control, specifically in serve receive, because we would probably need her to pass more than she had in the past.  You could tell she was focused on it, she worked really hard...I thought she improved a lot in a very short time.  I was glad she was on my team.

I remember talking to her about going to college and how excited she was that she got in to her top choice...

She always went for the kill...swinging down the line, even if it was the other team's match point, she went for it.

It seemed like she was always happy playing volleyball.  Smiling big when we would score, excited for her teammates all the time...everyone enjoyed being around her...she had fun,was happy and smiled always...that is what I will remember.

I will continuously pray for her family and friends, my heart goes out to them all.  I am thankful for the opportunity I had to coach her for those 8 months, and I am sure that her other coaches feel the same way.  She was a tremendous athlete that always worked hard for her team.  But more than just an athlete...it was the person behind the athlete that everyone enjoyed being around...I think she impacted the life of everyone she met.  It was a pleasure...

"Feet"...you will be missed.

You know the words...

Life's a dance, you learn as you go...

Most of us get our cliche lines from movies or songs...our inspirational moments or sayings are triggered by those same two things...most Queen songs, We Are the Champions, Rocky - Eye of the Tiger

Rascal Flatts have a song "God Bless the broken Road, that led me straight to you"...cheesy but triggers an emotion and is mostly effective.

The song "Life's a Dance", the words are "You Learn as you Go" I think most people have forgotten the words to that song, or they've re-written them.  Here are some of the more typical real life lyrics to that song...Life's a Dance,

"...I blame someone else for never teaching me how."

"...I need to take as many classes as possible so I can get good at it"

"...if I screw it up my parents will fix it for me"

"...and I deserve the 'best dancer' award"
This is the person who is really kicking it on the dance floor and everyone is watching...because it's terrible! Reality is sometimes missing.  Reality is, you're not the best even though you think you are; stop being a poser.

"...I'll blame you for messing up, even though I have no rhythm"

"...1, 2, 3, 4, 1...shoot!, 2, 3....darn I messed up again!"

Someone said...Don't wish for things to happen the way you want them to happen; instead, wish for things to happen the way they do happen and your life will be surreal.

Life's a dance, you learn as you go...

Fatherhood...

It's really been a fun almost 10 months :)  Keagan is now sitting up on his own, he still falls over sometimes when he tries to reach for something behind him.  The best part about him falling over, is he never tries to stop himself; the head goes first then the rest of the body.  When he stands on my lap we play the "falling game" where I let go and he falls to one side or the other, I let him get so far then I catch him and bring him back up.  He loves it!  After two, he is smiling and giggling...the best part is that his hands are usually in or near his mouth.  His hands aren't out at his sides balancing or bracing for the impact of the possible crash to the ground.

What freedom that must be in life; to be able to just let go and not worry about where to go, how far you fall, in a way knowing that you'll get picked up again.  What does that look like in life, giving someone else complete control and not really being too worried about the consequence?

Two thoughts...

1) I wish we would enjoy the ride a little bit more.  Worry less about the future and enjoy where we are in the moment...live freely in knowledge that you are protected and looked after by another.

2) I know I want Keagan to start crawling, but I am trying to enjoy everything he is doing now before that happens.  At this point he is closer to walking I think.  I can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do...it's' not about me, it's about him.  Ultimately this whole fatherhood is thing is determined more by how he feels than it is by how I feel.  If it's really about me, then this whole fatherhood thing is a sham.
  

Listening to "Faking Life" by Five Iron frenzy